Unadapted Housewife speaking...

What's that? You want to know more about me? Well, aren't you sweet. Buckle up. You're in for a treat.

Yeah. I'm in pursuit of graceful domestication, whatever the fuck that means. I just sorta came up with it one day. Yeah. That's right. Right off the top of my pretty little head. I'm, like, basically a genius. No...wait...that was in a former life when I could focus my energy on things other than trying to be a good wife, good mother, good housekeeper. (Must keep hair. Must not pull one of their beautiful giant heads off. - My mantra as of late.)

I suck at it.

Seriously the struggle to prioritize is real: Husband? Kid? Dream? Dirt? (My house is a mess and I don't care.)

The facts:
I’m 35. And a wife. And a mom. Step-mom, too. I even have a grandson. (We are a modern family to say the least...)

The best fortune I ever pulled from a cookie reads: "At the age of 20 the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement." So...I'd say right now I'm crushing it. (See me in ten years about the judgement part.)

I love to cook. I hate to clean. When I have time, I write.

And there you have it. Me in a martini glass. I mean nutshell.


What about you?



I've stopped seeing a couple of my friends because their kids are little shits.


Ever play fridge Tetris? It's the only game I get to play these days.


Me in the car line: 'Move bitch, get out da way, get out da way, bitch, get out da way.' You're welcome.    


That moment when you realize you're up too late working and can't decide if a little or no sleep is better. #fuckbuckets


"Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side. Keep on the sunny side of life."

Oh, honey....we're practically the same.